How to deal with a snoring bed partner

Q:  “I have chronic insomnia and told my husband I need a dark and quiet room to fall asleep.  He likes to watch TV before going to sleep, and this has created a huge problem in our relationship.  He thinks that I am being selfish for wanting the TV off, but I don’t think he understands the severity of my problem.  Any advice?”

If you are regularly awakened by your partner for whatever reason, this can become a huge issue in a relationship.

And if it’s not TV, then snoring is often a culprit, especially as we age and it becomes more of a problem for both men and women.  Studies estimate up to 45% of men and 30% of women are regular snorers.  So yes, being awakened can understandably build resentment.  If the resentment is not checked, relationship problems can develop, even divorce.

You owe it to yourself and your partner to do something proactive about this.

Sometimes you need to be flexible and do what it takes to sleep.  One possible solution is to use ear plugs and a sleep mask over your eyes.  I have used a towel stuffed into a pillowcase over my ears to block noises. You can also use it to block light.

Another solution might be a second TV, small flat screens are pretty cheap nowadays, placed in another room that doesn’t disturb you and that he could watch anytime if he really needs to.

And if snoring is a problem, you could try a white noise machine specifically designed to for sleep.

In your case, you could ask your husband to just not watch after a certain agreed upon cutoff time.  People who care about other people do not intentionally subject them to insomnia.  Let’s presume your husband is not really being insensitive, it’s just he doesn’t really understand how badly you are being affected.

Prioritizing good sleep is not an unreasonable request to make by any means.  My suggestion would be to have a serious sit down talk with your husband and take the time to explain your situation again, so he understands your needs and that you will suffer if you don’t sleep.  And that you care about him and value the relationship, but also have to do something about getting some sleep.

In any case, don’t just lay there and torture yourself.  Get up and leave if you have to.  Maybe it’s the couch, maybe another bedroom, go wherever you can find a place to get some sleep.

If you have questions about sleep, or if you are looking for ways to achieve better sleep naturally, feel free to contact us.

Explore posts in the same categories: Health, Insomnia, sleep

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